Normal Delivery to C-Section

My life came to a standstill on June 17, 2019. I went to see diabetic specialist and Boom, he said we should do the induce Labour without any more delay. I directly went to see my OBGYN to confirm if it was correct. While I was waiting in the room, my OBGYN assistance entered into the room and said, they gonna do induce labour on 19 June, mean time she was checking my BP, it got literally spiked upto 164😮.

At night, I was having lot of panic attacks.. like - Will I be able to bear the pain or not? as we planned not to take epidural. How will everything happened? Very emotional phase of my life.

On 18June, I informed my team and completed all my work as my last working day. Later, I took a long tub bath and tried to relax.

On 19 Jun, I was still trying to be relax as much as I can. Went to swimming pool, talking to my mother, completing all my remaining work, packed bag for hospital.

At evening around 7, we reached to the hospital and they started the induce process with dilation, for which she put some wire inside me that was kinda medicine for dilation which feels like a tampon inside you. Now there was a wait for 12 hr.. which was almost entire night. I was feeling contractions but not too high, but I was having bleeding.
Hard part was you cannot eat anything.

In morning, Dr. came, she checked my dilation it was still 1 cm and then too contractions also didn’t made good progress. However, Baby heart beat was normal.

My ObGyn checked cervix, (I am telling you, its very painful process and It starts soon you enter to week 37 and you will be checked in each visit after 37). While  checking my cervix, She said, cervix didn't made good progress, we should broke her water now. 
Boom 💥, I felt gush of water coming out from my vagina.
Then, she increases my doses for contractions and placed a baby heart beat monitor inside vagina. Within 5 hrs, I dilated to 5cm
Now, Pain of contractions during dilation in between 1 to 5cm was still bearable like high period cramps coming up every 5 mins, then 4 then 3 mins. I was able to bear that pain. But it was hard to go to pee in between those contractions, leakage, bleeding and it feels like you need to poop, due to increased pressure however, it was false alarm.
When I was in between  5-6cm,I was not able to tolerate the pain, I was loosing myself, contractions were every min and hard to lie down, sit or pee. 
I talked to my husband, I said if I will bear this pain till 10 cm which will eventually increase with every cm, When I go further(actual labour), I am not sure that I will have enough courage left to bear the pain of actual labour during push. I might give up then as It’s too much for me right away.

We decided to take epidural at 6 cm dilation. It feels like bee stings you in your lower back only trick is you should sit straight with no movement which was tuff because I was in active labour with high painful contractions every min. Somehow I managed by pinching Ved (my husband) with all the pain, I was feeling while taking epidural injection.
Now slowly, I started feeling cold in my back, now my all pain was quite bearable. Yes, Epidural doesn’t take all pain away, you can still feel that you are having contractions.
Now, with in 3 hours I dilated to 8 cm.
Now, I was in between 8-10 cm which was toughest, Acc. to my obgyn, cervix was still far way, Baby was not coming down and it was hard to track actual heart beat of baby. 
So, here comes worse part, she poked my baby on his head to track his actual heartbeat. Ved literally had tears in his eyes, it just a baby, and she poked her head with pin. He was very upset about that.

It was very hard to get 9cm, Nurse was asking me to change so many positions and gave me peanut ball which was super comfortable at that moment of time, but still my cervix was very far behind.
Now it was 8PM of 20 June, my temperature started rising up, baby’s heartbeat also pumped up which was not at all a good sign. My ObGyn came in, checked my cervix, it was still behind but I was 9 cm dilated, she suggested c -section for which I was not okay at all. 
I requested her to wait for 1 hr, I need only 1 cm dilation, it might be quick. While we were discussing it was 8:45 pm, she said okay, she will wait only half hour, as she can’t take risk with baby, I totally don't want that too! She came in at 9Pm, my temperature was increasing I asked to check my cervix again, if it is still far away then I will go for c-section, she checked their was no progress, Such a disappointment, I was so close to Normal delivery, now I need to make a decision,  As I started shivering because of my body temp was rising up and obviously healthy baby is more important to me.

Now, decision was clear, In shivering state, I was approaching to OT at 9:15, doctors were highly skilled, everything was ready for c-section, They were preparing me for OT, giving me anthesia , I was not able utter a single word properly because of shivering, but somehow I managed to say “ Please call my husband” they called him, after seeing him beside me, I closed my eyes, responding him with eyes blink game. 

At 9:32, We heard crying.. deep inside I was smiling, but my body was not responding. I was able to hear everything, doc asked Ved” Do you want know it’s boy or girl?”

He said, I will wait for her, we will get to know together. He was holding himself to hold baby because of me. 
Finally I opened my eyes, saw baby.. world outmost moment, still because of shivering I was only able to touch him not hold him. Deep inside me, I was relaxed.
Everyone was talking about him, omg he is so cute, he got so many hairs, he have blonde

 highlights, he is so handsome.

But I couldn’t just get up and hold my baby, I was disable. Being a mother I learned to fight with emotions.

Our only objective was baby should be healthy. So, We were happy.

My husband was with me entire time, that was a huge mental support to fight in tough situations.

Mansi Aggarwal